G.R.A.W. (Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter) Review

Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter - 9.6

Been awhile hasn't it? I've been playing a lot of games. Got a lot to catch you up on. first in is G.R.A.W. Let's dig deep into the game. Note: I am reviewing this game for the 360 only. I have not played the FPS versions on the X-Box, PS2 and PC.

Sound - 9.3

G.R.A.W.'s sound department offers a lot. From battle music to special scores to make it seem like the enemy won't let up, the music offers a lot and fits in with the scenes in the game. Except for the music in between battle time (which is why it gets a 9.3), the music department is almost perfect. The sound effects are something else as well. From the explosions to the gunshots, the sound is well detailed to fit in what's going on in your game. Overall, the sound is amazing.

Graphics - 9.7

The graphics in G.R.A.W. are a sight for sore-eyes. Even if you don't have HDTV, you'll stare at the screne saying "wow." The characters and guns are detailed to the max, and the guns, though small, are no exception. And when a car blows up, you really feel that impact on the screen. However, this level of detail is lacking on the Multiplayer modes. The most you get when you blow up a car is smoke and an explosion sound. The maps in Multiplayer mode are a bit less detailed, as well as the characters. Overall though, the graphics department is hardly lacking.

Gameplay - 9.8

This is where the game really shines. The game is a third-person shooter (and though you can switch to FPS mode, you'll be dissapointed, as there is no gun viewable) and allows you to seek cover (which you should seek if you wish to complete Level 1). It has a squad-based system where you can command troops, tanks, survaillance drones, and helicopters. The immersive Single player missions are second only to the Multiplayer. With four Co-Op missions, and the regular match types, you'll be playing G.R.A.W. a long time before you set the controller down.

It's definately a buy, and probably the best game in the series. Pick it up.

News From the Frontlines

IGN, you never cease to amaze me. But then again, you never will. According to the first link, Bungie (Halo, Halo 2) is supposedly going to show Halo 3 footage at E3 '06. Although it's only supposed to last two minutes, it'll be great eye-candy for Halo fanatics. Like most of you know, Halo 3 is supposed to be launched around the same time the PS3 does, so that people will buy the less-expensive item rather than the really-fuckin' expensive product. A great plan, Microsoft, but will it work? Sources say: more than likely. The more the PS3 gets delayed (when and if it does), more fans will grow in anticipation (as well as casual gamers) which will increase sales when it does come out.

Peter Moore, Microsoft's Corporate V.P. for Interactive Entertainment Business, Entertainment and Devices Division, has sat down with Xbox.com to discuss what games will be presented at E3 '06. He says that we can be seeing 150-200 Xbox 360 games launching in the next twelve to eighteen months. Seven upcoming titles that should interest us are: Gears of War, Crackdown, Viva Pinata, Too Human, Mass Effect, Blue Dragon, and Lost Odyssey. And while Viva Pinata is a game aimed at seven through twelve year olds, it should keep casual gamers hooked as well. Xbox Live Arcade should be increasing from the small, yet addicting, stash of games already up for download.

Not too much from the Wii or the PS3, since, you know, they're not out yet.

I Like to Play with my "Wii"

Nintendo. They've gone pretty far in their time on Earth. They saved gaming, and they introduced the world to the idols of gaming. Then they introduce the GameCube, which is alright. Doesn't do the best in the market. Then they announce the Revolution and it's controller. Mixed reviews are showing up all over the place, but even when you think Nintendo can't stoop any lower, BAM! Nintendo renames their new console: Wii. Such a funny word, don't you think? I can imagine Barry White making a song about how he likes to play with his Wii. According to a most interesting article from 1UP.com, Wii can be used for a lot of things. Like puns.

I don't think we're gonna let up on this one.

Heads up, Nintendo fans, you might have some competition, with names. At least Sony and Microsoft don't make their console names sound like another word for "cock." Those are gonna be some fucked up ads. "Timmy here likes to play with his Wii, you should too! Wii, cuming soon."

Til next time, JT out.

Guide To Gaming: FPS: Capture the Flag

This is a new thing I'm starting that explains what you should do when confused as to why you are losing terribly. There will be several parts to this.

When faced with your own mortality in an FPS Capture the Flag game, read this guide. I'm sure it will help. First off, when you see an enemy with your flag, do not shoot him/her. Instead, question them. The following picture read-along should help you understand this theory.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: YOUR MOM!

Notice how the flag wielder is not being cooperative. This is when you should shoot him. If he is not, he should answer this way.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: I went into your unguarded base and stole it.

It is at this point that you should file a lawsuit against your opponent for theft of your and your teammates' possession. Should Justice rape you, then kill your opponent.

When your opponent is guarded or is able to shoot back at you, simply do not shoot. He will be knocked into a state of confusion and walk over to check you out. He might think you are a robot. It is when he gets in your face and insults you that you should fire at his nuts until he dies. Get your flag. If he is guarded, well, at least you got your flag back.

Say your own teamate(s) are giving you a hard time and blaming you for their deaths. Don't take off your headset. Simply sing Daydream Believer, A Little Bit of Me and a Little Bit of You, and the theme to Happy Days. When the enemy is bothering you, sing We Will Rock You.

There may be times where you are pinned down, and you have the flag. What better way to insult them than to blow yourself up? By the time they read the "Such and Such killed himself" sign, your teammates will have already seen the explosion and rushed to the scene to get the flag.

Not much else to say on the subject. I hope you've learned something.

My Adventures with Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires

DW 5: Empires came out for the 360, and again I am dissapointed. Not like it's a surprise, right? Note: images from IGN.com are similar to my experiences.

For my first campaign to kill everyone in China was started with Yuan Shao. At first, I thought I had picked a good location, but as I later found out:


Selecting an unoccupied territory will allow you to create a new force.
As you can see (hopefully), the white areas are unoccupied (which takes up like half of China), and I am the yellow shaded part with the arrow pointing to it.

Fuck. There goes the easy part.

So I decided to fight a random enemy. That didn't turn out too well.

Again. Fuck.

That's it now, stay tuned, cuz I'll update on this.

Call of Duty 2

Call of Duty 2 - 9.5

You've all heard about it. It's the best WWII shooter in the market. Possibly better than the first. Call of Duty 2 is back for the 360 and the PC, and it's kicking some ass.

Graphics - 9.2

There's a few things to discuss graphics-wise. For the PC, it's the best. However, on the 360, it depends if you have hi-def or not. If you don't, you'll still get good graphics, just not as good. Let's take a look.....
PC: Badass

X-BOX 360: Pretty Badass

It speaks for itself.

Sound - 9.4

The feel that the sound creates perfectly matches the confusion and sadness of WWII. Bullet sounds all around, explosions causing some ear damage after a while, and the screams coming from all directions make this game a keeper in the sound department. Bullet sounds are the real thing also.

Gameplay - 9.8

This game is hard to put down, even after you beat it. Like always, Call of Duty pushes through with it's sensational combat. With three campaigns to complete, and two extremely hard difficulty settings, it'll be a while before you put the game back in it's case. Even online the fun never stops. Even better: there's not complete jackasses everywhere. So join in and have some fun.

Overall, this game rules. Owns even. Pick it up and get ready to get your ass kicked.

The Warriors Review

The Warriors - 8.1

Based on the 1979 cult-classic film, The Warriors brings the same tension, excitement, and overall gangster feeling the movie brought twenty-seven years ago. But it's different this time around. Rockstar created a storyline before the movie takes place, which is 80% of the game. Can this game live up to the movie? Read this review to find out.

Graphics - 7.2

The graphics are one of the few dissapointments in The Warriors, as well as one of the strong points. The character models are less that okay (especially the mouths), and the way they move is a little glitchy. That being said, their are many things that are well done in the graphics department. One of them being the environment. Every single piece of the area you move around in provides an excellent feel to the game, making you seem you're in the New York Ghetto. Another great addition is the tags. For those of you who don't know, tags are a gang's mark, usually made with spraypaint. These were taken from the movie, as well as some new ones from actual Painters.

Sound - 7.9

Most of the music is taken from the movie, but in certain parts in the game, you'll hear more soundtracks from the radio and so forth. Speaking of radios, the radio station host has a great voice, which is close to the movie's. The voice-overs are hard to judge. Some are over-exaggerated terrible, and some are great, but for the most part they're okay. One thing that really can tick a gamer off are the special-effects. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think wood sometimes makes a metallic sound. And lastly, for those who have seen the movie, I've reserved a few sentences for the famous "Warriors, come out to play-ay!" phrase that is hardly known as of now. The voice for Luther (the character who says it) is extremely well done. You have to hear it to believe it.

Gameplay - 9.4

The gameplay is where this game shines and proves to you that graphics don't matter. It's a seasoned brawler with lots of ways to dispatch of your enemy. There's also a River City Ransom-like game you can unlock after completing the story mode of the game. Along with the brawling, you can steal car radios, break into stores, tag over enemy tags, and more. There's barely any words to describe how good the gameplay is, so I'm gonna call it fantastic. Again, Rockstar shines with it's gameplay.

All in all, the game is amazing. The characters are memorable, and this game should be a buy.

Call of Duty 2: Big Red One Review

Call of Duty 2: Big Red One - 8.6

So the greatest WWII franchise has been back for some time now: on the PC, XBOX 360, and the current-gen systems, which is what we'll be discussing today. Sure, Call of Duty 2 is better, but for those of us who don't want to spend $400 on an XBOX 360 or $1,000 upgrading our PC, this will suffice.

Graphics - 8.1

Be warned, ye fanboy bastards, for this game is not as glamorous as Call of Duty 2, but for the current-gen, this is pretty damn slick. The texture models are good, the terrains are great, and when you're invading Normandy for the hundreth time, you'll love it like you first played it. But almost every level is Normandy in this game, for the bullets wizzing by, the planes zooming overhead, and all the things you've come to expect from WWII shooters is here. Just better. The only real dissapointment from the graphics are the tanks. You'd think they'd be better, but no. They had to make one of the greatest things about life a let-down. The weapons and other things look great as well.

Sound - 8.5

The sound is phenominal. Where to begin? The weapons firing have been recorded by the sound teams at Treyarch and Activision, so you get an authentic sound experience. The music in general is great. When a key member in your unit dies (usually in a cinematic phase), you get some sad music with bullets flying all around you. It kind of makes you want to kick some ass and get some revenge. Other music is subpar. The voice-overs were well-done, but some voices may seem a little bit too strange for war. I'm talking Vin Deisel weird. But overall, the v/o's are great.

Gameplay - 9.2

The gameplay is, by far, the best aspect of this game. Like the first Call of Duty and Call of Duty 2, the gameplay is top-notch. As always, you can aim through your gun as if you were holding it, which is the way you always should aim, lest you would want thyself to be thy owned by Nazi bastards. What's there else to say about it? Easy controls, extremely fun gameplay, provides a decent challenge. The only con about it is that it's short. The story's also good.

It's a solid title. Pick it up.

A Look Back on Movies and Games: 2005

Ah, the big 05. Sure, there were tragedies and such, but what about the movies and games of the year? I'll tell you my opinion. Sit the f*** down and shut the hell up.

Movies

In my opinion, 05 was a slow year for movies. Sure, there were some great movies like Spiderman 2, which contained a phrase that will be quoted for years to come (With great power comes great responsibility), and The Wedding Crashers, but overall there weren't that many good movies. Another man would tell me to go f*** myself, to which I reply the same thing, but think about it. Was Batman Returns really that good? Hell no. And then we had such s*** as Charlie and the Choclate Factory, Elektra, Aeon Flux, Stealth, Get Rich or Die Tryin', Doom, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, The Dukes of Hazzard, and worst of all Supercross: The Movie. Do we deserve this crap? Hell no, I say to you. This is sorta like the 70's. Slow movie process, but great movies are to be found.

Video Games

Like movies, 05 was a slow year for games. There's only two exceptions. 2005 had no great games that stand out, but games started to pick up in Winter (this was also the time when the 360 was released and had a supply shortage). Some titles really stand out: like Resident Evil 4, Battlefield 2, Civilization IV, The Warriors, and Ninja Gaiden: Black. But do we need s*** like Charlie and the Choclate Factory, Chicago Enforcer, King Kong (DS), and hundreds more? Overall, Call of Duty 2 was the best of this s***-tastic year.

Thank you, goodnight!

Soulcalibur III Review

Soulcalibur III - 8.5

The extremely well-done series is back, and it's got even more random crap packed inside. You might ask, What the hell? Well, I'll explain it here.

Graphics - 9.2

The graphics are one of the first things you'll notice. Right off the bat, you have to give Namco credit for the water. It looks photo-realistic, and you'll find yourself staring at the water, and not caring about the match. The characters are also well done. From the boobs jiggling almost as much as the DOA chicks', to the weapons, to the special effects, everything is perfect. The only con is an occasional framerate slowdown.

Sound - 7.8

One of the worst things ever that can take it's toll in a video game is bad voice-overs. This game has a lot of these. Some are okay, but most just make you wanna take Soul Edge and shove it up your character's ass (or something else, if your character is a girl). The greatest thing about this game in the sound department is the music. Great scores and amazing sound effects save the game from Sound Hell.

Gameplay - 8.7

As always the fighting is intense, and long-time fans of the series will find that it's harder this time around. There are plenty of characters, and a character creation mode where you can create your own personal whore. There are more modes this time, some which just seem pointless. Chronicles of the Sword tries to take a crack at mixing genres (strategy and fighting), and it turns out as a sad result. All in all, it's oldschool Soulcalibur at it's best.

In conclusion, pick this game up. Multiplayer is a blast, and online is great. Just like the last two, the third in the series is amazing. Buy it. Now.

GUN Review

Gun - 8.2

After years of making Tony Hawk games, Neversoft has released a different kind of game - a good one, in fact. Surprised? Don't be. Neversoft never gave us any warning about Tony Hawk either.

GUN is a different type of 3rd-person shooter, combining many elements which make the game great. First off to talk about is the story. You are Colton White, whose father, Ned, was assassinated. You must tread through the West to get vengeance and something more. You will make allies, take over towns, lose trusted friends, and more. The story is simply amazing, reminding me of Indiana Jones.

Graphics - 7.9

The graphics in the game are amazing enough on the X-Box, giving each character diverse features, even in the townsfolk. Shading and lighting are top notch, which is nothing short to the X-Box 360's. The landscapes are a different story, however. Wherever there isn't dirt, there's grass, and the grass is comparable only to the Sims. It's a sad story Neversoft can't actualy make grass. Fuckin' Neversoft, screwing us over again.

Sound - 8.2

The sound fits the mood for it's genre. You know the kind, the type in western movies. The real story is the voice-overs. From the heavy southern accent to the loud religious screams, the v/o is top notch. The actors did a really good job sounding exactly the way they should. The character models themselves match the sound, and brings shame to a lot of other games. Gunshots, horses, glass-breaking, etc. is also very well done.

Gameplay - 8.7

Where to begin? The gameplay is great. It's basically a 3rd-person shooter, and runs like one too. However, there are two elements that change the gameplay completely. The first of these is the first-person mode. Just click the Right Thumbstick, and you go into first person mode. Although it is kind of sluggish, it's perfect for aiming at faraway targets. The second of these elements is the Quickdraw mode; it's the bullet-time for this game. During any point in the game, press the Y button, and you'll enter first-person mode with your pistol(s) wielded. Your weapons become more powerful, and it helps you take down enemies faster. Side-missions are also a great addition to the game. There are four types: Wanted Posters, Pony Express, Federal Marshall, and Cards. Wanted Posters is basically the way to get money easily. You are set out to find bounties, and you can choose to subdue them and keep them alive, or you can kill them. If you nab them alive, you get more money. With the Pony Express missions, you deliver select items to people in/outside of town within a set time limit. Federal Marshall missions are given to you to help the towns, people, or anything else. And if you don't know what Cards is, you need to die.

Well, go pick up GUN. It's about ten hours long, but you'll want to play it all over again.