News From the Frontlines

IGN, you never cease to amaze me. But then again, you never will. According to the first link, Bungie (Halo, Halo 2) is supposedly going to show Halo 3 footage at E3 '06. Although it's only supposed to last two minutes, it'll be great eye-candy for Halo fanatics. Like most of you know, Halo 3 is supposed to be launched around the same time the PS3 does, so that people will buy the less-expensive item rather than the really-fuckin' expensive product. A great plan, Microsoft, but will it work? Sources say: more than likely. The more the PS3 gets delayed (when and if it does), more fans will grow in anticipation (as well as casual gamers) which will increase sales when it does come out.

Peter Moore, Microsoft's Corporate V.P. for Interactive Entertainment Business, Entertainment and Devices Division, has sat down with Xbox.com to discuss what games will be presented at E3 '06. He says that we can be seeing 150-200 Xbox 360 games launching in the next twelve to eighteen months. Seven upcoming titles that should interest us are: Gears of War, Crackdown, Viva Pinata, Too Human, Mass Effect, Blue Dragon, and Lost Odyssey. And while Viva Pinata is a game aimed at seven through twelve year olds, it should keep casual gamers hooked as well. Xbox Live Arcade should be increasing from the small, yet addicting, stash of games already up for download.

Not too much from the Wii or the PS3, since, you know, they're not out yet.

I Like to Play with my "Wii"

Nintendo. They've gone pretty far in their time on Earth. They saved gaming, and they introduced the world to the idols of gaming. Then they introduce the GameCube, which is alright. Doesn't do the best in the market. Then they announce the Revolution and it's controller. Mixed reviews are showing up all over the place, but even when you think Nintendo can't stoop any lower, BAM! Nintendo renames their new console: Wii. Such a funny word, don't you think? I can imagine Barry White making a song about how he likes to play with his Wii. According to a most interesting article from 1UP.com, Wii can be used for a lot of things. Like puns.

I don't think we're gonna let up on this one.

Heads up, Nintendo fans, you might have some competition, with names. At least Sony and Microsoft don't make their console names sound like another word for "cock." Those are gonna be some fucked up ads. "Timmy here likes to play with his Wii, you should too! Wii, cuming soon."

Til next time, JT out.

Guide To Gaming: FPS: Capture the Flag

This is a new thing I'm starting that explains what you should do when confused as to why you are losing terribly. There will be several parts to this.

When faced with your own mortality in an FPS Capture the Flag game, read this guide. I'm sure it will help. First off, when you see an enemy with your flag, do not shoot him/her. Instead, question them. The following picture read-along should help you understand this theory.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: YOUR MOM!

Notice how the flag wielder is not being cooperative. This is when you should shoot him. If he is not, he should answer this way.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: I went into your unguarded base and stole it.

It is at this point that you should file a lawsuit against your opponent for theft of your and your teammates' possession. Should Justice rape you, then kill your opponent.

When your opponent is guarded or is able to shoot back at you, simply do not shoot. He will be knocked into a state of confusion and walk over to check you out. He might think you are a robot. It is when he gets in your face and insults you that you should fire at his nuts until he dies. Get your flag. If he is guarded, well, at least you got your flag back.

Say your own teamate(s) are giving you a hard time and blaming you for their deaths. Don't take off your headset. Simply sing Daydream Believer, A Little Bit of Me and a Little Bit of You, and the theme to Happy Days. When the enemy is bothering you, sing We Will Rock You.

There may be times where you are pinned down, and you have the flag. What better way to insult them than to blow yourself up? By the time they read the "Such and Such killed himself" sign, your teammates will have already seen the explosion and rushed to the scene to get the flag.

Not much else to say on the subject. I hope you've learned something.

My Adventures with Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires

DW 5: Empires came out for the 360, and again I am dissapointed. Not like it's a surprise, right? Note: images from IGN.com are similar to my experiences.

For my first campaign to kill everyone in China was started with Yuan Shao. At first, I thought I had picked a good location, but as I later found out:


Selecting an unoccupied territory will allow you to create a new force.
As you can see (hopefully), the white areas are unoccupied (which takes up like half of China), and I am the yellow shaded part with the arrow pointing to it.

Fuck. There goes the easy part.

So I decided to fight a random enemy. That didn't turn out too well.

Again. Fuck.

That's it now, stay tuned, cuz I'll update on this.