Guide To Gaming: FPS: Capture the Flag

This is a new thing I'm starting that explains what you should do when confused as to why you are losing terribly. There will be several parts to this.

When faced with your own mortality in an FPS Capture the Flag game, read this guide. I'm sure it will help. First off, when you see an enemy with your flag, do not shoot him/her. Instead, question them. The following picture read-along should help you understand this theory.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: YOUR MOM!

Notice how the flag wielder is not being cooperative. This is when you should shoot him. If he is not, he should answer this way.

You: That is my flag. Where did you find it?
Flag wielder: I went into your unguarded base and stole it.

It is at this point that you should file a lawsuit against your opponent for theft of your and your teammates' possession. Should Justice rape you, then kill your opponent.

When your opponent is guarded or is able to shoot back at you, simply do not shoot. He will be knocked into a state of confusion and walk over to check you out. He might think you are a robot. It is when he gets in your face and insults you that you should fire at his nuts until he dies. Get your flag. If he is guarded, well, at least you got your flag back.

Say your own teamate(s) are giving you a hard time and blaming you for their deaths. Don't take off your headset. Simply sing Daydream Believer, A Little Bit of Me and a Little Bit of You, and the theme to Happy Days. When the enemy is bothering you, sing We Will Rock You.

There may be times where you are pinned down, and you have the flag. What better way to insult them than to blow yourself up? By the time they read the "Such and Such killed himself" sign, your teammates will have already seen the explosion and rushed to the scene to get the flag.

Not much else to say on the subject. I hope you've learned something.